For all we know, there\\’s no one can get married without love in 21st century. (Unless you have some other purposes). Surely, without love, a marriage relationship would be colorless and tasteless. Ask yourself, will you marry a man/woman without love?
No doubt we all have our own definition of love. Love can be sweet to you but harsh for me. To some love is concern, to some it is compassion and to some others it is caring and so forth. It doesn\\’t matter what one\\’s own concept of love, one should agree that it is essential to devote his/her energy and time to the one he/she loves. It is a crucial part in a marriage. Kindness, tenderness and solace and so many other nice feelings, all elements can benefit and improve your marriage relationship.
For all we know, there\\’s no one can get married without love in 21st century. Surely, without love, a marriage relationship would be colorless and tasteless. Being with a person without love, you would not know what your life is aiming for and whom you are living for. Moreover, you should learn how to love yourself before trying to develop a capability to love.
How does self-love help a marriage? When you love yourself and your partner, you tend to change your attitudes and approach. There are certain abilities involved in the love you extend to your partner: You would listen to him without judgment, you would recognize his emotions and needs, you would freely express your feelings without fear or reservation, you would take his criticisms in constructive ways, you would give him freedom to think and act in ways that does not harm your relationship in anyway.
When you are capable of showing the above qualities, a sense of deep intimacy is achieved between you and your husband. You might have conflicts, because no two people can live without differences. But these qualities will make both of you deal with conflicts in positive ways. You would handle your conflicts in a healthy way where you do not forego your own needs. This kind of freedom will build a stronger bond between the two of you. In fact conflicts make your relationship stronger than breaking it.
How do you build your capability to love your spouse? To love your spouse in healthy ways, you can do the following:
1. Treat your spouse like the way you treat yourself.
2.Do not be disturbed by differences.
3.Accept the way he acts and what he is, since he is a product of his life circumstances just like you.
4.Respect each other.
5.Learn to agree to disagree in different type of opinion.
6.If you love him, set him free.
7.Don\\’t try to fight back in case he disagrees.
8.Be patient and loving to your spouse, do not demand for his attention or love. Though this is hard, his love and attention means everything to you. Love never comes on demand.
9.There may be occasions in life when you may do things for him just because you love him. But that only adds strength to your bonding.
A couple should treat each other with mutual respect and regard. Your policy should be that of give respect and take respect. If you do not respect your partner, how can you expect him to respect you? Mutual respect and regard would make the couple bond closer to each other. If you become aware and correct the above qualities you should be able to develop intimacy.
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